The Adventures of... Corn...
by Crackers. saltine hehehehe
Summary: PLEASE READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! I SPENT A DAY WRITING THIS STORY! FLAMERS WILL BE PROECUTED! ^-^
1. The Adventures of Corn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

****

The Adventures Of… Corn…

Disclaimer: Why the Hell Do we have to do these? Theirs No point in them! I hope you know I do not own Zelda if you do. Then You Need Help!

Link: Boy… This Is Boring… NAVI! GET ME THE NEWSPAPER!

Navi: But Kokiris Can't Read!

Link: How am I reading this then?

Navi: This What?????

Link: This!

Navi: What Is This?

Link: THIS GOD DAMN FANFIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Navi: oh…

Saria: Hey Link!!!!!!!! I Got A Present For Your B-Day!

Link: B-Day?

**Everyone Looks At Saria**

Link: Don't ever say "B-Day" again.

Saria: o Kay… 

Navi: We Should Make Corn!

Mido: We Don't have A Stove or a Microwave.

Zelda: How about Pasta!

Everyone: No…

King Zora: What About Slim Fast!

Link: You can but we won't!

Saria: Still Want your present Link!

Link: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saria: b-day…

Link: Hey! I didn't want a Portable Hot Tub with Extra Powerful Jets and 30-Foot Pool with 2 High dives and a 100-Foot Water Slide A Brand Spanking New Corvette! I Want a Microwave!

Narrator: Hmmm… I Wonder Where They Got THOSE presents! Especially that Hot Tub! 

**SCENE CHANGES TO THE FRONT OF A SHOP AT KAKARIKO VILLIAGE**

Narrator: Where Else! The super dooper upper looper fruit looppingly Shop! The place where everything was made! Let's see The Happy Customers in Here! 

Customer: Need… F O O O D………. falls over dead 

Customer #2: I ate my daughter's dollie I was so hungry! 

Customer #3: … got cheese?

Narrator: Let's See Who's In Isle #9803246735403678659863275893647784382965743675387943756732658706547459648445687845769842405309625736578465673265782394756375683759236753645637876547385268732658732753286578934675364576435983759365732486578326587369856743657836573627586438756438756385973657368756743268796475674397658732658732657346587436576438953276587326589369362985! Why It's None Other Than Skull Kid!!!!! Finding A Winter Coat!

Skull Kid: Hrmmm…. The White Winter Coat Or The White Winter Coat… Hmmm…

Narrator: hey ummm… skull kid… It's the middle of spring here…

Skull Kid: oh…

Back In The Kokiri Forest 

Zelda: Will Skull Kid Hurry With that dang Microwave????

Saria: You told him to get a winter coat Zelda!

Zelda: I said Microwave! 

Link: Shut Up You guys!

Zelda And Saria: You! 

Link: No! Navi!

Navi: Yea? 

Link: Go Into The real world and go to walmart and get a microwave! K?

Navi: okay…

Link: Good Dog! I mean fairy…

Navi: I heard that you Twit!

Link: (whispering to Saria) she more of a rabid pencil!

Back At The Shop With a Really Long Name In The Same Aisle

Narrator: Well it looks like Skull Kid finally remembered To Buy A microwave! 

Skull Kid: Xtra Power Microwave… Or The Extremally Crappy Microwave one… I think I'll take the Extreamally Crappy Microwave…

In The Real World

Shopkeeper: Your Selling Diamonds for a pencil!!!!

Navi: There Rupees…

Shopekeeper: There Goddamn Diamonds! There Gold Diamonds!

Navi: (talking to herself) maybe if I listen to him and say that they are golden diamonds I'll be rich! I'LL BY PAROMOUNT PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shopkeeper: I heard that.

Navi: Crap.

Shopkeeper: Get outta here you radioactive fly! swats her with a fly swatter 

Navi: That's No Way To Act To A Fairy! 

Shopkepper: Yeah Right!

Navi: You're not Shopkeeper! Your LaLa from the teletubies! You my favorite character from the Teletubies!

Shopkeeper: (LaLa) SSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Going back to Kookie Forest I mean Kokiri Forest

SkullKid: I'm off to use the Microwave! My Wonderful Wonderful Microwave! 

Tael: This chapter is gonna end soon.

Skullkid: No!!!!! I'm In the Middle Of Hyrule Field!

Tael: The writers getting tired of writing. 

SkullKid: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooh! A quarter! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skull Kid: I'm getting in the Forest if it's the Last thing I do!

Skull Kid Starts running faster

Skull Kid: I'm gonna get There!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaepora Gaepora: HOOT HOOT!

Skull Kid: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

skullkid looks up

Kaepora Gaebora: (looking at playboy magizine) Now I wanna marry you and you and you and you and you and you an-

Tael: okay we Need to stop this chapter!

Skull Kid: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~*~TO BE CONTINUED~*~

Skull Kid: I'LL SUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So How'ed you like it? Was it good! Was it bad! Was it absolutley awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please Review! And if you flame! I'll burn your house down!… maybe not but I could!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^J 


	2. THE ADVENTURES OF CORN!!!!!!!!!! PART 2!...

THE ADVENTURES OF CORN ****

THE ADVENTURES OF CORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PART II!!!!!!!!!! ^-^ YAY!

Hyrule Field

Kapora Gaebora: (reading playboy magazine) and you and you and you and yo- eeww! Eeww!!!!!!! That's not right!!!!!!

Skullkid: He's been hooting at that damn magazine the whole day!!!!!!!!!

Tael: Isn't it Link's birthday?

Tatl: Yeah Skullkid isn't it?

Skullkid: Yeah…

Tael: Let's go in the forest then!

Skullkid: Wait I'm almost done reading Cosmopolitan!

Tael: Why do they keep on reading those magazines???

Tatl: I don't know? Hey Kapora! 

Kapora Gaebora: drooling hoo… hoo… damn it! I'm goin' to Hooters!

Tael: Weird!

Skullkid: oooh! She's hot!

Tatl: GOOD GOD SKULLKID! HURRY UP! I WANNA TRY OUR NEW EXTREMALLY CRAPPY MICROWAVE!

Skullkid: Wait a Second!

At Wal-Mart

Navi: Okay… so you say the Cereal on isle 5?

Retarded Shopkeeper: Yup…

Navi: Okay! Thank you!

On isle 5

Parent: okay Billy pick which Cereal you want!

Billy (I couldn't think of a different name!): I want the Fruit Loops! 

Parent: Okay! Gets the Fruit Loops

Navi: Hey Fruit Loops! I LOVE THESE THINGS!!!!!!!! I CAN FIT THROUGH THE HOLE IN THESE THINGS! WATCH!!!!!!!!!! Rips open the box 

Parent: There goes $3.00

Billy: It's a talking Radioactive Fly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Navi: WATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOES THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF THE FRUIT LOOP 

Navi: ARE YOU WATCHING DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!! HERE I GO! GOES THROUGH IT 

Navi: DAMN… I'M STUCK… HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLUE FAIRY STUCK IN A FRUIT LOOP HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! I'M STUCK IN A GODDAMN FRUIT LOOP!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE WANNA HELP A POOR _CALM!!!!!!!!!!!!! _FAIRY?????????????//

Parent: You're not calm! Here! Take some Adderal!

Navi: OOH! THANK YOU! I LOVE ADDERAL! IT GIVES ME REALLY BAD GAS THOUGH BUT OH WELL! IT TASTES LIKE MOLDY CHEESE! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^-^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SEE DEAD BATTERIES!!!!!!!!!

Billy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parent: Okay let's go! I'm never going back to Wal-Mart again!

Shopkeeper: Come Again!

Parent: Feck You!

Random Person: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo you said a bad word!

Billy: No she didn't! I believe she said Feck!

Random Person: Whats the difference? 

Billy: The Letter U! (I know… I ripped that off of Almost Famous)

Back on Isle 5

Navi: Oh Well! I'll guess I'll go back!

Navi Disappears in a Big crappy Pink light (crappy special affects)

Hyrule Field

Skullkid: Can I walk now?

Tatl: Not yet!

Skullkid: Now? 

Tael: Okay!!!!!!!!! ^-^ Batteries!

Tatl and Tael throw batteries at Skullkid

Skullkid: Ow! That Hurts!

Skullkid runs into the Kokiri Forest

Skullkid: Okay! I'm Back!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone besides Skullkid: Yippee! Whoohoo! (Sarcastic)

Skullkid: I got the Microwave!!!!!!

Link: YOU DO???@?@@!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? YIPPPIEYIPPIEYIPPIEYIPPIEYIPPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KILLED A WEINER DOG BY STICKING IT ONE OF THOSE! IT CAME OUT WITH IT'S EYES POPPED OUT! IT WAS COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zelda: EEEWWWW!!!!!! Ooh! A nickel!

Link: Why are you obsessed with nickels now Zelda??????????????????????????????

Zelda: I eat them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link: oh k… Nevermind then…

Zelda: Good! Yummie!

Navi Appears

NAVI: HEYGUESSWHATLINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOTSTUCKINTHEMIDDLEOFAFRUITLOOPANDIFARTEDAFEWTIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!ITFELTGOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link: you are scaring me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Navi: I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS'NT IT WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link: (whispering to Zelda): That's the biggest word she's ever said!

Zelda: (whispering to Link): It's bigger than the biggest word I've said! Now shut up!

Link: Well Excuuuuuuuuuse me Princess!

Zelda: Well Ecuuuuuuuuuuuse me Link!!!!!!!!!!

Link: I want my Presents! 

Zelda: I want ccccccccccoooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!1

Saria: Ew! That Band Sucks!

Zelda: I want the Food Corn!

Skullkid: I got the Extremely Crappy Microwave!

Navi: IT COMES WITH A MAGIC COLOR CHANGING RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^-^

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well there's Chapter 2! I'll try to get chapter 3 up this week! Will Link Ever Get a Birthday Cake? Will I make this story better!?!?!?! Probably Not But Bare With Me!


End file.
